Situationship vs. Relationship: How to Tell the Difference
- Private TalkX
- Oct 1
- 3 min read
You talk every day. You hang out after work. Maybe you’ve even shared biryani at 2 AM or gone for long drives listening to Arijit Singh. But then—someone asks, “So, are you guys dating?” and suddenly there’s an awkward silence.
If that feels familiar, chances are you’re in a situationship—that in-between zone where you’re more than friends but not exactly partners. It’s the “almost” stage: exciting at first, but often confusing in the long run.
Here’s how to figure out if you’re in one—and what that means for your heart.
1. The “What Are We?” Question Gets Dodged
Whenever you bring up “Are we together?”, they laugh it off, change the topic, or hit you with a “let’s just go with the flow.” Sound familiar?
Reality check: In India, where families and friends often ask questions about “settling down,” dodging labels can leave you feeling invisible. A relationship doesn’t have to mean marriage right away—but it should at least mean clarity.
2. You Only Get Last-Minute Plans
They’ll ping you with a “Coffee?” text when they’re already at the café or call you for “chai and chill” after office, but there’s never a plan for Saturday dinner or a trip to Goa.
Reality check: If they only reach out when it’s convenient for them, you’re their time-pass, not their priority. Someone serious will plan ahead—even if it’s just booking those movie tickets in advance.
3. Intimacy, Yes. Commitment, No.
You share jokes, maybe even sleep over, but when it comes to introducing you to friends or posting a story together on Instagram, suddenly it’s silence.
Reality check: If you’re kept as a secret from their close circle, it usually means they’re not ready to acknowledge you as a partner. In a country where “meeting the friends” is a big step before “meeting the parents,” being left out stings harder.
4. Their Communication Is a Rollercoaster
Some weeks, your chats are endless—good morning messages, memes, late-night calls. The next week, it’s total ghost town.
Reality check: That “on-off” pattern might feel addictive, but it’s also draining. Consistency is the real sign of care, not just bursts of attention between cricket matches or office deadlines.
5. You’re More Confused Than Happy
The biggest clue? You’re constantly overthinking. You’re asking your bestie, “Do you think they like me?” or rereading chats like they’re CBSE textbooks before boards.
Reality check: If you’re spending more energy decoding than enjoying, that’s not love—it’s uncertainty.
Why Situationships Are Everywhere in India Now
Dating apps: From Bumble to Hinge, the swipe culture makes casual flings super easy.
Career first: Many 20–30-somethings are focused on jobs, exams, or start-ups—relationships take a back seat.
Parental pressure: Ironically, the fear of commitment often comes from families pushing too hard for shaadi. So, people float in the middle zone to avoid “serious” labels.
Pop culture influence: Bollywood and OTT shows (think Gehraiyaan or Four More Shots Please) normalize complicated, undefined dynamics.
Situationships Can Work—If You’re Both On the Same Page
Let’s be clear: not all situationships are disasters. Some people genuinely want a no-strings, fun connection—especially in cities where everyone is hustling hard.
It can work if:
You both agree it’s casual.
Boundaries are clear (no false promises).
Respect stays intact.
But if your heart is saying “I want more” while theirs is stuck at “let’s chill,” it’s going to hurt.
What To Do If You’re in a Situationship
Ask yourself: Am I okay with this, or am I secretly hoping it will change?
Talk openly: Yes, it’s awkward. But honesty beats months of confusion.
Set limits: If constant sleepovers or daily calls leave you attached, pull back.
Put yourself first: Don’t shrink your desires just to keep them around.
The Empowerment Takeaway
In India, where the line between casual and serious often feels blurred by family expectations, peer pressure, and modern dating culture, it’s easy to land in a situationship.
But here’s the truth: you deserve clarity.
If you’re fulfilled and happy with the setup, amazing. But if you’re stuck in confusion, always waiting for them to “make it official,” remember—you’re allowed to want more.
Love, dating, commitment—it’s all about choice. And your choice matters. Don’t settle for the “almost” zone if your heart wants the real thing.
